Don't Want To Be Here
by january sunshine
Summary: Bakura's abuse pushes Ryou over the edge. Let's just say there's a knife from home, a rope from gym, a window on the third story of school, and more. And it all started with Bakura's razor blades... PG13 for suicidal hints. Hints? Psh More like attempts.
1. Razor Blades

:.:*Disclaimer*:.: Here comes another BPSA (boring public service announcement): DP doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh.   
  
Authoress's note: Bakura refers to the Yami and Ryou refers to the boy.  
  
Don't Want to be Here  
  
Chapter One  
  
* Razor Blades  
  
Bakura somehow got hold of razor blades and decided to take over Ryou's body again. He turned the sink on and smiled maliciously. Although he knew Ryou was fighting in his dimension of his mind for posession of the body, he ignored the boy. He placed the blade on his wrist, less than a centimeter away from the main vein, and made a small cut. He pressed harder, watching blood drip into the sink.   
  
//This is for your own good, Ryou. You're too weak.// Bakura thought.   
  
/Don't cut my wrist! You could kill me!/ Ryou pretested.   
  
//I'm not going to pop the vein, you fool. I'm just making small cuts. I want to know if you can stand the pain. I surely can.//  
  
/Stop it, Bakura!/  
  
//Make me.//  
  
Ryou sighed in his mind chamber. There was nothing he could do but stay where he was, since he couldn't escape. He couldn't stop his Yami from doing anything to his body. All he could do was wear his usual expression and pretend there was nothing going on when he got control of his body back. He sighed again.   
  
Bakura made a small cut that curved along the side of the vein. He watched as blood dripped into the sink, and washed down the drain by the water gushing from the sink. After a few seconds, when the blood his cleared, Bakura hid the blades in a drawer and walked back into Ryou's room.   
  
//All right, pathetic one, you can have your body back.//  
  
Bakura went into his mind chamber and Ryou came out. The boy immediately dropped to his knees, massaging his wrists.   
  
/Damn, Bakura, this really hurts!/  
  
//Good.//  
  
/Why is it good?/  
  
//If you can stand this, then you'll be fine, okay?//  
  
/Just quit cutting my wrists with those stupid razor blades!/  
  
//I like the feeling. //  
  
/I don't, and it's my body, so stop it!/  
  
Bakura became angry, and came out of the millenium ring. Ryou found himself staring at a transparent figure of himself, who was giving him a death glare. Bakura punched Ryou in the stomach and threw him into a wall. He walked over to the boy, and kicked him in the stomach. With each kick came an insult.   
  
"Weak!" Kick. "Pathetic." Kick. "Stupid fool!" Kick. "Idiot." Kick. "Moron." Kick. "Waste of time and energy."   
  
Just as he was about to kick again, Ryou grabbed his foot and pulled him down. Then Ryou scrambled away from Bakura and found his way to his bathroom. He locked the door, sat with his back against it, and sighed out of relief. Then grabbed his stomach, hurried over to the toilet, and vomited. After emptying the contents of his stomach, he pulled the razor blades from their hiding spot and placed one on the vein, but not breaking through the skin.   
  
Bakura snuck over to the bathroom door, a paperclip in hand, and unlocked the door. He opened it and saw Ryou, ready to pop open the vein.   
  
"What are you doing?" Bakura asked.   
  
"Getting ready to die!" Ryou said angrily. "I can't put up with it anymore! You're torturing me every hour of the day for no reason, and I have no peace anymore. I can't take it anymore, Bakura. I want to take myself out of this world for good!"   
  
Bakura threw the paperclip at Ryou's face, and he dropped the blades. Bakura scooped up the blades before Ryou had a chance, and pocketed them. Then, he walked out of the room, leaving a fuming Ryou glaring after him. Bakura hid the blades where he didn't think Ryou would find them, and sat on the bed.   
  
Ryou walked out of the bathroom and stared at Bakura from the doorway. His parents weren't home, so Ryou had the house to himself. He walked downstairs into the kitchen and opened the freezer door of the refridgerator. There was an oven-bake pizza inside.   
  
He decide to cook the pizza, since he'd have to cut it later with a knife...   
  
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What do you people think? I, for one, don't think Ryou's that OOC. Many 'normal' people have thoughts like that. Yes, I do have thoughts like that, if that's what you're wondering, but if I didn't, would I be able to come up with this kind of FanFic?   
  
Read and Reply, please.   
  
Darkness Princess 


	2. Kitchen Knife

:.:*Disclaimer*:.: Yet again, another BPSA. DP, as stated in the previous chapter, doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh, Ryou, or Bakura. I do claim full rights on this story and any other characters I add.   
  
Vegeta-is-Forgotten and SoulDreamer, thanx for reviewing.  
  
Don't Want to Be Here  
  
Chapter Two  
  
* Kitchen Knife  
  
Bakura followed Ryou into the kitchen, and watched. Ryou opened the freezer and pulled out the box of over bake pizza, turning on the over to 425°. He set the pizza on the counter, still in the box, and glared at Bakura.   
  
"What do "you" want?" Ryou asked.   
  
"Just wondering wat you were doing," Bakura said.   
  
"Baking a pizza, but it's not like you care."   
  
"Wouldn't it be easier if you ordered a pizza?"   
  
"Yes, if you had money. Remember? Oh that's right, you have a short term memory and a long-term revenge rate. Well, you broke my father's compass and I got grounded, which means no allowance. So I have no money."   
  
"You're messed up, you know."   
  
"I know. I'll admit it, but once I'm gone and I have the ring around my neck, you're gone because I'm taking you with me."   
  
"I'll just take over your body permanetely, and get revenge on the Phaoroh, because you're not stronger than me."   
  
Ryou made no comment. He opened the pizza box, opened the bag containing the pizza, placed the Italian food on a pizza tray, and stuck it in the oven, his arm accidentally touching the side of the stove. He flinched shightly, but ignored it. He closed the oven door and set the kitchen timer for fifteen minutes. He stared at the burn on his right arm, fighting the urge to do anything about it.   
  
"I know you want to, so just take care of that burn on your arm before something happens to it," Bakura said. Even though he despised his aibou, he wouldn't want Ryou to put himself in pain for no reason.   
  
Ryou didn't heed his advice. He just stared at it. The two stood in the kitchen until the timer went off. Ryou, who had been bracing himself the whole time, opened the oven, and pulled out the pizza tray with his bare hand. Bakura stared in horror, not expecting Ryou to act like this. If the boy wanted to kill himself, he wanted a body in almost-perfect condition.   
  
Ryou took out the kitchen knife from the drawer and was about to cut the pizza, but instead placed the blade on his left wrist, attempting to cut himself. He barely made a small nick when he heard the front door open. His father opened the door. Bakura retreated into the ring.   
  
"Hello, Ryou," his father sang out.   
  
"Hello, Dad. I cooked the pizza. Want a slice?" Ryou asked, placing the knife on the pizza.   
  
"Sure, son," the father said.   
  
Ryou smiled, but his face turned angry as he cut the pizza, pulled out plates, place a few slices on one for is father and one for himself; he put back on the 'mask of happiness', and the two sat on the living room couch, eating pizza and watching TV movies. After a while, Ryou offered to do the dishes. He was in the sink, washing all the other dishes and silverware first, leaving the knife for last. His father had fallen asleep on the couch, having had a long day at the artifact sorting office. Ryou picked up the sponge, after checking to make sure his father was still asleep, and washed the knife and rinsed it. He dried it, the water still runnung, and held the blade to his wrist. Bakura popped out.   
  
"What do you think you're doing?" Bakura whispered sharply.   
  
"Getting ready to die," Ryou answered, the same ammount of harshness in his voice.   
  
Bakura grabbed Ryou's hand, the one holding the knife, and pulled it away from the wrist. Ryou pulled back and attempted to slash Bakura's torso, but missed. Bakura somehow seized control of the weapon and aimed it at Ryou's throat. The boy became paralyzed with fear, then relaxed and smirked in a Bakura-like manner.   
  
"I dare you, Bakura," Ryou whispered. "Go ahead. I have the knife, I die. You have the knife, I die. You see, I don't care. I dare you to stab me."   
  
Bakura, disgusted with this act of behavior, took posession of the body, rewashed the knife, placed it with the other drying materials, turned off the sink, and went to Ryou's room. He came out of the ring and gave Ryou his body back.   
  
"What is wrong with you, Ryou?" Bakura asked.   
  
Ryou laid on his bed and closed his eyes. He felt a blow to his head and opened his eyes.   
  
"Answer me,," Bakura said.   
  
"What do you think is wrong with me? I want to die, and you won't let me. Simple, ne?" Ryou answered closing his eyes again. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to go to sleep hoping I won't wake up."   
  
Bakura rolled his eyes, and went back into the ring. Although it would have been one of the last thoughts that would have ever entered his mind, Bakura hoped that Ryou wouldn't commit suicide. He couldn't believe it, but he cared.  
  
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What do you think? Read and Reply.   
  
Darkness Princess 


	3. School Gym Rope

:.:*Disclaimer*:.: BPSA: DP doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh!.  
DP: Yami's helping me in the studio today. [Since Bakura couldn't make it (the tomb robber, yes)]  
Yami: You call this place a studio?  
DP: Shut up, and go get Marik. You're no fun.  
Yami: Fine. Marik, your turn with the psychopath!  
DP: Don't make me get my Kaiba-bashing mallet!   
Yami: Go get it, I'll just use my ancient magic.  
DP: It's magic-proof. You guys read while I go beat Yami to a pulp.  
  
And note that Marik is the hikari and Malik is the yami.   
  
Don't Want To Be Here   
  
Chapter Three  
* School Gym Rope  
  
  
It was the next day. Silently, Ryou got ready for school, not wanting to wake Bakura. He grabbed his backpack and headed to school, running into Yugi Moto, Joey Wheeler, Tea Garner, and Tristan Taylor.   
  
"Ryou!" Tea called.   
  
Ryou turned around and put on the mask of happiness. "Oh, hi, guys," he said joining them.   
  
/Darn, why did I have to run into them?/   
  
//Because you're a moron, that's why!// Bakura was awake, and obviously in a bad mood.  
  
/Shut up before I--/  
  
"Ryou? Did you hear me?"   
  
"Oh, sorry, Yugi," Ryou said. "I was just so lost in thought I didn't hear what you were saying."  
  
"You've been doing that a lot lately," Tea commented.   
  
"Yeah. You all right?" Joey asked.   
  
//Ryou.//  
  
"I'm fine. I've just had a lot on my mind," Ryou lied.   
  
//Ryou! I know you here me.//  
  
"Well, look there's the school. I've got to go get something from a friend. Catch you later."   
  
"Bye, Ryou!" they called.   
  
Ryou ran off towards the school, but went to the back.   
  
//Ryou!//  
  
/What in hell do you want?!/   
  
//Ooh, fiesty. Well, you'd better not pull anything stupid.//   
  
/Actually, I hadn't thought about it. But it's a good idea. I should plan something./   
  
//You do and I'll kill you.//  
  
/Good. Because I'll take you with me./   
  
//Damn you.//  
  
/Ditto. Crikey, I've spent five minutes talking to you. I'd better hurry off to class./   
  
Ryou ran to his classroom and sat in his seat. Joey, Tea, Tristan, and Yugi were giving him shifty glances. Ryou sighed.   
  
//See? You call them friends? They're staring at you like you're a psycho.//   
  
/It wouldn't be like that if you shut up once in a while./   
  
//Make me.//  
  
/I will, soon enough. You will pay./   
  
//Is that a threat?//  
  
/No. Threats never happen. That's a promise, because I will make you pay./   
  
//You couldn't do anything to me.//  
  
/Maybe, maybe not. But I have control right now, and if I'm pissed enough, you'll see./   
  
The teacher walked into the room and began doing what she was paid to do. Then, after an hour, the bell rang, dismissing the kids for gym class. Ryou exited the classroom and headed towards the locker room. He stopped in the hallway, staring at a boy. The boy had dark skin and blonde hair, leaning against a wall, his arms crossed.   
  
"What are you up to, Marik?" Ryou asked.   
  
"It's Malik, you idiot!"   
  
"What are you doing here?" Bakura took over.   
  
"Didn't I get rid of you?" Malik asked.   
  
"I can never be rid of. Darkness is there forever. But for some reason, my hikari thinks he can kill me by killing both of us."   
  
/I can, you dolt!/   
  
//Try it.//  
  
/Okay./ Ryou took over. "Hey, Malik, wanna kill someone?"   
  
"Who?"   
  
"Me."   
  
//Ohh, nice try.//  
  
"Nah, I like to watch you suffer," Malik replied.   
  
Ryou scoffed, then headed to the locker room. He changed, then got to the gym before anyone else arrived. He began tying the long rope.   
  
Joey walked up. "So, Ryou, what are ya up to?" he asked. "Tyin' the rope, huh?"   
  
"Yes. I'm sick of gym class," Ryou replied.   
  
"What're ya makin'?"   
  
Ryou held it up. It was an adjustable loop. "For the teacher," he lied.   
  
"Wha--!"   
  
"Crikey, Joey, I won't do anything. It's just a knot and a loop. I'm not stupid."   
  
"Uh... okay..." Joey headed back towards the locker rooms.   
  
Ryou placed it around his neck and tightened it. Ryou tightened the loop tighter, now having difficulty breathing. His heart pounded, needing air. Ryou blinked his eyes, his vision blurring.   
  
//What the hell are you doing?//  
  
/Getting rid of it all!/ Ryou, with remaining mental energy, shoved Bakura into his own mind chamber, then thought of no more,   
  
Soon, he ran out of air for him to keep conscious. His eyelids closed as he fell into a darkening abyss...  
  
  
  
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MwaHaHaHa! I left you all at the dreaded cliffhanger! And I'd like to thank all those reviewers. If they hadn't reviewed, I don't think this chapter would have been posted.   
  
  
  
Well, thanx to:  
  
Malik's Girl -:- Sorry it took me so long to update, but is this okay? Thanx for the review.  
  
Princess of Anubis -:- I hope it showed up, and I hope this chappy shows up, too. And Thanx for the review.  
  
Silver Mist4 -:- Evil little person. Ohh, I've found a friend. But you can't hurt Bakura, the tomb robbers rock! And if you try to stab me with that knife... *pulls out a katana, Japanese sword* ready to swordfight?  
  
Karanas_Girl123 -:- Thanx for reviewing. Sorry this chapter took so long.   
  
Dark Millenia -:- You really like what Ryou's doing? Well, thanx for the review.   
  
Kaibagurl47 -:- I agree 100%. You know, someone said it was funny. Well, do you think Ryou's gonna die? Thanx for reviewing.   
  
Demonaic Spirit -:- I took too much time. It's sorta going fast, I know, but I can actually get my point across better when I rush slightly. Well, I actually got this done. You don't have to wait any longer.  
  
forever fallen -:- I dunno. What Would happen if Bakura does or doesn't stop him? And I don't plan on stopping this fic. Thanx for the review.  
  
Ryuu Ie Mizishi -:- oh, goody. Finally someone who won't pick out my flaws! ThankyThankyThanky!  
  
akuhoshi -:- sorry, but don't get your hopes up. I can't change it to Kaiba because Kaiba doesn't have a yami, and he wouldn't try and die because rich people buy stuff to stop themselves from thinking of suicide. And think of poor Mokuba. Never mind, screw the Kaiba's, though they're one of the best family-affair-ppl in the anime. ^.^ Well, thanx for the review, and I hope you're not mad.  
  
Morgan R. -:- Yeah, it's me. And you know what, you are SO wrong about that. BAKURA-CHAN AND RYOU-CHAN ARE MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Got it? Good.  
  
  
  
Thanx, and if you review, you get your name here, too. Well, I'll try and update sooner.   
Darkness Princess 


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